She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think my moral compass just broke
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
