So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
