you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
