got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
