I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You're like the curious george of whores
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
