Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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