So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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