Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
