how can u be prego again
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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