Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
