You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I party with great urgency now.
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