she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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