is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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