There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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