wrigley field is MILF paradise
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
