Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
