What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
