Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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