people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
