I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
