my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
