Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
