the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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