I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
