I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
