and you said cock pushups were impossible
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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