I just threw up on my dentist
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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