she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize