You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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