It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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