EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
