Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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