That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My feet surprised me
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