suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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