Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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