He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
