you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
