You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm having to shit out rocks
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
