Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize