And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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