i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
