Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
