Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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