sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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