meet me or not, i'm out of control
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
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I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
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I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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