He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
