I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
If that was your dad, he is hot
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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