when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
