We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
