Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
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I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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