She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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