she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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