yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize