Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
