Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
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you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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