I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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