Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
