I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
