saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
