Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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