so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
