Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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