if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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