you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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