I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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