The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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