I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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